Week 7 – May 27th Reading Assignment & Questions

Please read Chapter 7 – “The Blame Game.” If you have extra time, complete Step 7 in the Workbook. Key points in this Chapter include:

• The belief that performance reflects one’s value leads to the conviction that those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.
• For every flaw we see around us, we usually search for someone to blame, hoping to exonerate ourselves by making sure that the one who failed is properly identified.
• In fact, the higher the position of the one who failed (parent, boss, pastor, etc) and the further they fall, the better we feel.
• Christians should not be blind to the faults or failures of others. We will continue to see them, but our response to them will change considerably over time, from condemnation to compassion.
• All of us fail, but this does not mean that we are failures. We need to understand that failing can be a step toward maturity, not a permanent blot on our self-esteem.
• The blame game leaves us feeling all alone without experiencing the faith we need to live without fear…the more you give yourself to fear, the more difficult it is to experience faith in your life.

Questions that we will discuss this week at Tuesday at 7am and Friday at 6:30am include:

• Do you have the tendency to “assign the blame” when something goes wrong or find satisfaction in properly identifying the “source” of the problem? Would you say you have more of a tendency to blame others or yourself?
• In responding to failure – on a scale of 0 – 10 with 0 being condemnation and 10 being compassion, what would be your average score? Why do you feel that way? Does it depend on who the person is?
• The author contends that there is a process for learning how to express our feelings appropriately? How has this played out in your life? How has your relationship with Christ empowered you in this area?
• The Bible provides many examples of people who failed – Moses was a murderer, David an adulterer, Peter a liar – what impact should this have on us and how we treat those who fail?
• Do you really deserve to feel good about yourself? Why or why not?
• Take the fear of punishment test – how did you score and what did you learn about yourself as you answered the questions?