Week 9 – June 10th Reading Assignment & Questions

Please read Chapter 9 – “Shame.” If you have extra time, complete Step 9 in the Workbook. Key points in this Chapter include:

• When we base our self-worth on past failures, dissatisfaction with personal appearance, or bad habits, we develop a false belief: I am what I am, I cannot change, I am hopeless.
• To often our self-image rests solely on an evaluation of our past behavior, being measured only through a memory. Day after day, year after year, we tend to build our personalities upon the rubble of yesterday’s personal disappointments.
• Shame often engulfs us when a flaw in our performance is so important, so overpowering, or so disappointing to us that it creates a permanent negative opinion about our self-worth.
• Problems associated with shame include: Inferiority, Destructive Behavior, Self-Pity, Passivity, Isolation and Withdrawal, Loss of Creativity and Codependent Relationships.

Questions that we will discuss this week at Tuesday at 7am and Friday at 6:30am include:

• How do you define Shame?
• Has there ever been a time in your life where you have felt feelings of shame or inadequacy? How did it affect your thinking?
• How has your attitude about yourself changed on the account of your relationship with Christ?
• Take the Shame Test – Did you learn anything? Which questions did you score the lowest on?
• Do you experience or have you experienced any of the effects of shame as outlined in the book?
• Take the Men’s Survey Below:

Men's Survey (Select one answer)

What relationship could you use the most help with? Wife, Boss, Child, In-Law, God

What hero did you most identify with when you were a boy? Batman, Spiderman, Gumby, Kermit, Mr. Rogers

What is the hardest thing for you to say? I need your help, I was wrong, I am tempted, I am not doing good today, It’s my fault

If you could have more of a certain character quality which would you pick? Humility, Compassion, Honesty, Selfless, Content

What is the hardest thing for you to resist? Sexual thoughts, Cutting words, New email/more work, Giving your opinion, Not speeding

What issues create the most concern/fear in your wife (if married)? Financial security, Marriage ending, Wasting influence, Finishing Strong, Disappointing God

What category best describes your relationship with your father? High talk – High time – High touch, Low talk – Low time – Low touch, No talk – No time – No touch