Discussion Questions
- What are some of your favorite memories together with your dad? What makes them special to you?
- How would you sum up your father's life lesson to you? (e.g. Work hard and you'll get ahead, look out for #1, you can't really trust anyone...)
- Do you agree with the idea that masculinity (i.e. Who a man is and what he's got) is bestowed? How would you assess your receipt of this gift?
- This chapter comes down pretty hard on fathers, in terms of their inadequacy in "bestowing" masculinity. Do you think it is a fair portrayal? Can you identify with taking "an arrow" in your place of strength or being "wounded?" Do any of you feel like your "injury" is do to an absent father? - see Psalm 109-21-22 and consider Bly's quote "Not receiving any blessing from your father is an injury...."
Additional Thoughts:
The following is an excerpt from the field manual that may help with understanding what Eldredge means by "wound" - "I need to clarify two things when it comes to finding our "wound": First, it is not necessarily one clear wound, given on an unforgettable day your remember in detail. Many men can recall the day they received a soul-wound from their father that somehow defined the rest of their relationship with him. But for others, it is an accumulation of subtle wounds and messages, given over time. Second, I believe that every man carries a wound. No matter how good a man your father was, and may still be, he is not Jesus Christ. Every father is a son of Adam, and every father himself grew up in a world far from Eden. Given these two biblical truths, be very , very cautious to come to the conclusion that your somehow escaped the father-wound. Your father may have repented deeply of his own false self as a young man, and been substantially healed of his own wound before he fathered you. But that is a rare, rare case.
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