Week 3 - April 29th Reading Assignment & Questions

Please read Chapter 3 - "The Performance Trap." If you have extra time, complete Step 3 in the Workbook. Key points in this Chapter include:

• We all tend to believe to some degree that "success" will bring fulfillment and happiness. This leads to the Performance Trap, which has us accepting the false belief that I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
• Those who fall into the Performance Trap who have a tendency to base their self-worth on their ability to accomplish a goal, or to be efficient/effective in their use of time.
• In addition, they avoid certain activities, relationships and risks because their fear of failure is too great. The fear of failure can manifest itself in a variety of responses including Perfectionism, Avoiding Risk, Anger/Resentment, Pride, Depression, Addiction to Success and others.
• The focus on the Christian life should be on Christ, not on self-imposed regulations. Our experience of Christ's lordship is dependent on our moment-by-moment attention to His instruction, not on our own regimented schedule.
  

Questions that we will discuss this week at Tuesday at 7am and Friday at 6:30am include:

• Why do we sometimes tolerate failure in another person but cannot tolerate it in ourselves?
• How much different would your life be if it were not for the fear of failure?
• Are there any perfectionists out there? Do any of you occasionally base your self-worth on an ability to accomplish a goal or on the efficient/effective use of your time? Does your perfectionism ever suffocate your joy and creativity?
• Take the fear of failure test on page 34 (my copy), how did you score? What category did you end up in and which questions did you score lowest on?
• Does your fear of failure ever drive you toward anger or resentment toward someone else who may have hindered your success? Of the people you have anger toward, how many of those individuals are associated with some failure about which you feel bad?
• Has there been a time in your life where your identity was wrapped up in your success (or failure)?
  

Week 2 - April 22nd Reading Assignment & Questions

Please read Chapter 2 - "The Origins of the Search” If you have extra time, complete Step 2 in the Workbook. Key points in this Chapter include:

• There is a real spiritual battle over our understanding of God’s truth and offer of salvation through Jesus Christ, with man often choosing to trust in his success and the opinions of others to give him a sense of self-worth.
• Our attempts to meet our needs for success and approval fall into two broad categories: compulsiveness (controllers, perfectionists, manipulators) and withdrawal (avoid failure/disapproval by avoiding risk and vulnerability).
• When we base our security on success and others’ opinions, we become dependent on our abilities to perform and please others. We develop a “have-to” mentality. The “have-to” mentality is sheer slavery to performance and the opinions of others, but we are secure and free in Christ.

Questions that we will discuss this week at Tuesday at 7am and Friday at 6:30am include:

• When did you first grasp the truth that you have been saved by grace (unmerited favor}, through faith {trust} and not anything you did, but a gift of God?
• What truths on page 17 (my version) about who you are in Christ are most difficult for you to grasp (e.g. All your sins are forgiven, past, present and future, You became a child of God, etc)?
• What impact do you think that humanism (the teaching that man is above all else) and our society in general has on each of our abilities to be convinced that apart from God, this life has little meaning and purpose?
• The book discusses two broad categories for which our attempts to meet our needs for success and approval fall into: compulsiveness and withdrawal. Which have you seen most notably in your life?
• How do you react to the authors description of the “Have to” mentality – can you identify with that?
• What does it mean to you that God created you in his image? How does this affect your behavior?
  

Week 1 - April 15th Reading Assignment & Questions

Please read the Introduction and Chapter 1 - "The Light Comes On." If you have extra time, complete Step 1 in the Workbook. Key points in this Chapter include:

• Whether labeled self-esteem or self worth, the feeling of significance is crucial to man's emotional, spiritual and social stability and is the driving element within the human spirit.
• In some cases, God's light may have revealed our pain and wall of defenses, but it may not yet have penetrated to our deepest thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.
• The Lord desires truth and honesty at the deepest level and wants us to experience His love, forgiveness and power in all areas of our lives.

Questions that we will discuss this week at Tuesday at 7am and Friday at 6:30am include:

• What does the term significance mean to you, how would you define it?
• On a scale of 0-10, with 10 being a completely healthy sense of self worth, where would you land?
• When do you feel best about yourself (situations, relationships, etc), when do you feel worst?
• Whose opinion do you value the most?
• Do you feel like you are honest with God? Do you feel like he wants you to be honest with him? How do you convey your feelings to him?
• What do you think about the contrasting formulas - The World's Equation versus God's equation, why is it so difficult to view ourselves apart from our performance and what other's think about us?

Search for Significance is Here!

Welcome to the James River Campus Men's Ministry Blog. Here's how this interactive bible study is going to work:

1. Pick up a copy of The Search for Significance by Robert S McGee at the Small Groups Table or at a bookstore.

2. Beginning the week of April 15th, join us in the weekly readings as posted on this blog

3. Attend one of our weekly studies at Starbucks on Polo Pkwy - 7am Tuesdays, 6:30am Fridays

4. If you cannot make the meetings, look for the questions posted on the blog and share your thoughts. If you attend the meeting and want to comment about a question further, post a comment to the blog. I will also summarize our weekly discussions to the blog weekly for those who are out of town or cannot make a meeting.

5. I will serve as moderator, please keep you comment to the point, generic to preserve privacy (remember we ARE on the Internet), keeping God's Word as primary and learnings from the author secondary.

6. Let's have fun as we grow together in our relationship with each other and Christ.